On the appearance of Nothing

 
wavesquare_15.jpg

         If by definition, the word “appearance” means something that draws us in through space and time to take a closer look, then what of the appearance of “Nothing”?

Most of us see the appearance of Nothing on a day-to-day basis. Nothing may appear under strange and mysterious circumstances, or without apparent cause; or may shift around, and take on different forms, then disappear again more quickly than it comes. Yet again, the appearance of Nothing may stick around and loiter in one’s headspace like an unwelcome guest slowly finishing their cup.

Sometimes, seeing the appearance of Nothing can be very disarming as it sneaks up and takes one completely off guard. Upon a closer look, the appearance of Nothing may in fact feel quite terrifying, or terribly maddening, or bitterly saddening, or so enormously confusing that Nothing can actually make seeing Anything next to impossible. And so, one may even start to wonder if Nothing may indeed go on forever?

Listen, anyone can fall into a kind of fascination with the appearance of Nothing, and focus on Things that are not there. And in state of suspended disbelief, one may be drawn in to take a closer look. Nothing may appear like an empty bank account with exactly Nothing in it;  or look and feel like a dead-end dating life with nobody/Nothing in it; or a career path blind-sighted and hitting a blank wall of joblessness/Nothing; or a self-image seeing and feeling an empty worthlessness/Nothing; or the challenge of a recent divorce or a death in the family and seeing and feeling the no one loneliness/Nothing; or a business that looks and feels like no future signs of profits/Nothing; or a creative work with no direction or inspiration to lead one on/Nothing; or a contemplative life that reaches the very edge of not knowing/Nothing.  

In fact, it seems to appear that Nothing has the power to take on as many formless forms and faceless faces as we have the power to imagine.

And in addition, if one takes the time to really explore and focus on the appearance of Nothing, one may even discover empty places within oneself that Nothing seems to fit into. So then over time, Nothing naturally settles in and makes itself at home, until it reaches down to one’s very core, where one’s values and beliefs come from. There, Nothing mixes in with one’s beliefs and punches holes in one’s values, and limits one’s self-esteem and view of oneself. In fact, Nothing starts to feel so familiar, that one may even start believing that Nothing may be true. And like a moth to a flame one sees nothing else. Eventually, Nothing gets taken for granted, and one accepts both its cause and effect declaring “Just my luck”, “This always happens to me”, “Murphy’s Law”, “I should have seen this coming” etc.

So how does one get so convinced by the realness of Nothing? What evidence is there to prove it’s true? What value is there in it to make it worth taking so personally? Why would one ever believe in Nothing when it distracts one from the very Things one wants like: meeting that special person, or landing that perfect job, or painting that glorious landscape, or seeing that healthy bank account that feels full and looks like plenty. But the appearance of Nothing is clearly getting in the way.

For example, have you ever seen a beautiful woman deny her own beauty? Upon hearing a gracious, sincere compliment like “Wow you look great in that dress”. The beautiful woman may strike out, straight off- the-cuff, and ungraciously, or totally out of surprise by the compliment, openly deny it with a gasp and a wave of her hand gesturing as if that couldn’t possibly be true!

Is it possible that she can’t see, or feel, or believe her own beauty? Does she really think she isn’t beautiful? How does that happen? Why does a beautiful woman not believe in her own beauty? How did she convince herself that beauty, and her beauty specifically, has no value, is worthless or is Nothing to concern herself, or anyone else with?

Let’s suppose for a moment, that early conditioning could actually teach someone limiting beliefs about the value of beauty. And that one could learn to accept that beauty really has no value, is a worthless, and in life, amounts to Nothing.  If so, then how could one ever truly recognize beauty in oneself, or in anyone else or anything for that matter?

It seems as though if one learns to accept limiting beliefs like beauty amounts to Nothing, then one day, one may find oneself looking straight into the appearance of Nothing, and denying beauty.

So, If one can be influenced to think Nothing is real, then what would it take to believe that Nothing isn’t real? or at least consider that the appearance of Nothing is only temporary?  Can one learn to disbelieve in Nothing?  Would believing in “Everything” be useful? And How would Things change if one truly believed in Everything? That includes Anything, everyone and of course oneself. And since one evidently has the ability to look into the appearance Nothing, then certainly one may have ability to look into the appearance of Everything too.

For instance, if one has faith in abundance, can one still believe in one’s worthlessness?  Any type of faith is a very personal private matter just as ego is. And this is where eternal becomes personal. Only the one having the experience of oneself can negotiate the dance between Self, Everything and the appearance of Nothing.

One simply can’t do someone else’s life, and someone else can’t do one’s life either. So, one must have the courage to lean in independently, separate from the beliefs of others, to explore oneself, to discover and to become familiar with one’s unique qualities. Those Things that one is especially equipped to express in life. And in the process kick the idea of Nothingness to the curb because it’s getting in the way! This is why knowing oneself and being true to oneself matters.

Discovering one’s truth is like waiting in line for tickets to a show, then realizing the tickets are already in one’s pocket; or noticing that one could have passed right through the VIP line if one had just thought of oneself that way- the way one moves easily, free of limitations.

So, let’s assume, for the sake of simplicity, that there is a fundamental universal energy called “source”.  Amd Source flows through Anything and is Everything. And since anyone is a part of everyone, and everyone is a part of Everything, and Everything is part of source, then everyone including oneself is a part of source.

For example, imagine a garden with unlimited resources to support its growth. If someone is given a package of carrot seeds, and one’s family doesn’t care for carrots, does that mean the carrots are worthless and should not be planted or grown? No, because seeds are like talents, that grow in the garden of one’s soul and express naturally as the energy of source pushes through them to grow. Source energy does not require anyone’s approval as it pushes up carrots and daisies and Everything else from the ground.

So, allowing others’ views to limit one’s own beliefs, self-value or self-expression is like pinching off the soul. It’s like burying one’s talents or never opening the seed package just because one is trying to fit in. Limiting one’s own acceptance of source becomes one less soulful expression in life, one less personal discovery, and one less act of creativity. Making one less resourceful, smaller, and closer to the appearance of Nothing.  

And when the garden harvest comes, Nothing appears again because one made the choice not to plant the seeds, agreeing with the ones who believe that carrots have no value. And the ones who discouraged carrots are surprised by the other one’s hunger, because they still don’t understand the value of carrots. And one’s personal experience of Nothing gets reinforced and joins all the other proofs collected from all the other appearances of Nothing. And one begins proving and believing Nothing, including the fact that personal worthlessness must be true. And one starts believing one doesn’t fit in, or shouldn’t, or that one needs to limit some part of oneself in order to fit in. And by subscribing to these limiting beliefs, one stops seeing and feeling their own connection with source. And one misses the satisfaction of the feast after the garden harvest.

No one was ever meant to come into life and find a way to “fit” in. Everyone is a unique.  Anything, including anyone, and Everything already fits into source. So, anyone can lean in and get to know the Things that make one so unique. It just takes trusting that there’s more of oneself worth exploring, expressing and experiencing. That there are things about oneself crammed up in potential ready for expression that one doesn’t even know about yet. And one must trust that the appearance of Nothing is just a momentary distraction.

Anyone has the freedom and power to be on the very edge of one’s own personal expansion.  To see and feel the unique way source energy flows through oneself. And over time, with familiarity, one can sense the edge of one’s growth, like inspiration or a purpose. But unfortunately, the edge of one’s personal expansion can’t be seen or felt through limiting beliefs like worthlessness. Be aware that if one holds a core limiting belief like worthlessness, one can bumble around in the Things of life looking for oneself -but only find a disappointing string of mostly not-Self/Nothing.   

The only difference between the appearance of Nothing and feeling connected with the source of life, is where one looks and which way one trusts to lean.  Someone else may not understand what makes one unique and different,  so ignoring the opinions doesn’t make one wrong. No one else’s opinion, good or bad really matters.  One’s truth is one’s truth. It’s far more interesting to be daring with oneself than limited by the beliefs of others.

All the egos, all of human potential, and all of one’s amazing energetic expressions, all have their place within source. And there certainly seems to be plenty of energy yet to be expressed and more of oneself yet to know. So as one becomes more familiar with oneself in the vast, unlimited pool of source energy, one’s empty places begin to fill in with personal truth and a feeling of real self-confidence. True value, true ownership and true wealth.

In conclusion, if one happens to find oneself looking at the appearance of Nothing, then it may be useful to turn and peer upon oneself; To explore oneself and the source of one’s potential; and finding it, express something truly personal and worth believing in. The art of life is being courageous enough to love oneself and to willingly express it. 

The art of life is being courageous enough to love oneself and to be willing to express it.